I'm Just Not There Yet

Seizure Precautions Pleaseeee !

So, a few days ago at church I was caught completely off guard. A young boy had a seizure during the homily and fell to the ground. Now that I’m a nurse, it’s as if I’m never not a nurse. However, I’m never prepared to be a nurse when I’m not at work as well. I’m just not there yet ! This puts me in an awkward position mentally when emergent medical aid is needed outside of the hospital setting.

I did not see the seizure occur, but my sister leans over and whispers In my ear , “That boy had a seizure, are you going to go over? “. In that moment, in my head,  I was screaming… “YES, YES , YES ! But at the very same time I shrunk into myself and felt so small. I felt as if I was a little girl again learning how to ride a bike and afraid to fall. I’m on edge at work all the time ready for something to happen, but at church ? I was not prepared and went blank. Shit, what do I do ? Do I know what to do ? Everything I learned and knew went POOF !

In the end,  I got up to go help even though it took me a few moments to get out of my head. By the time I made it over,  the young man was fine and there was also a doctor and nurse already there. I was saved by the Lord.  

I’ve had this sort of situation occur before whether it was somebody falling or a car accident occur and I'm one of the first cars behind it. I want to get to the point where there is no thinking, I just hop up and assume the role needed. I am not required to assist in any way, but I do expect that of myself at some point. I mean I’m a nurse 24/7. Unfortunately , even after a year of nursing, I’m not confident enough in what I know to be THAT nurse. One day I will and I cannot wait , but I’m just not there yet. 

All advice welcomed in my comments ! Keep it G with me